Adolescents and Mental Health

Over the last few years, I have started several blogs. I’m sure if you searched hard enough, you’d find at least one. Yet, no matter the passion or the desire to continue a blog, life never permitted me to do so. Also, let’s be honest…imposter syndrome (we’ll get into what that is) is real and it is intense. 

I’ve spoken about some of what it took for me to achieve something I wanted since I was 15, which you can read about through Marquis Who’s Who. I may write about some of the things I went through during that journey but my ultimate goal in this blog is to advocate for young people. The feeling that sparked my desire when I was an adolescent was that I felt so dismissed and misunderstood by adults and mental health professionals. And unfortunately, a large majority of teens feel that exact same way 20 years later. 

When I first began therapy as a therapist, I worked with at risk youth in a detention facility. When I say my heart fell in love with those kids, I do not do that feeling justice. Do not get me wrong, working with youth in and out of the justice system is hard work, especially if you are there for the right reasons. Many youth became so avoidant towards adults due to feeling misunderstood, unseen, unheard and altogether dismissed which makes connecting with them somewhat difficult. Yet as I learned to connect, I heard some of the most powerful stories. 

I saw hurt humans who just wanted their caregivers, best friends or partners to see the struggle they were navigating. I saw hurt adults attempt at connecting with these kids, only to fail due to their own blindspots and biases. I will forever hold my experience at the detention facility in a special place in my heart due to how much I learned and how much I grew…not only as a therapist but as an empathetic human. 

The next facility I worked at was a group practice, which I will be honest, I hated leaving the detention center for but I had to provide for my own kids. There, I worked with clients ranging from 8 years old to 65 years old. I worked with individuals, couples, families and desperately missed running therapeutic groups. The year that I was at this practice, my own child began struggling with her mental health which caused my whole world to turn upside down. As a therapist, actually as a human, that was one of the most difficult years I have yet to experience. And let me be honest, the lack of mental health resources for struggling teens and the lack of resources for their parents was astounding. Between my clients and my personal life, I began to see the true epidemic that we are in: an epidemic of disconnection that leads to mental health struggles and an increase of desires to no longer be in this world.

My adult clients at this group practice voiced so much of what the youth at the detention center did. They wanted to be heard. They wanted to be seen. They wanted to be supported. And I was just as desperate for that as my clients were. That being said, in hindsight, I hit my rock bottom while helping others navigate their rock bottom and there is so much beauty in that. 

The group practice required me to have 30-32 sessions a week which did not seem overwhelming as I was running roughly 40 sessions a week at the detention center. Yet, due to what was happening behind the scenes, I could not keep up. And quite honestly, group practice is not my passion. 

I then accepted a role at a residential treatment center that was known for “being brutal.” I had heard about this place as a teen (even knew some people that went there) but my passion for struggling teens took over and I accepted the position. 

That job was nothing I wanted but everything I needed at the time. 

I met so many amazing teens who were either wanting to die, self harming, or acting out aggressively (or all 3) and I smile as I write this because so many of them lit up my world when it was at its darkest. I am privileged enough to continue some of those therapeutic relationships in my private practice now. 

One client in particular sticks out in my memory. One I no longer work with and I genuinely hope the best for. He was my first client at the residential center and stayed there 4/8 months that I worked there. This human made one of the biggest impacts on my life as we were struggling so differently yet as I heard more of their story and their struggle, the desire was the same: to be heard, seen, accepted and respected. 

Over those 8 months, I worked with countless youth - all of whom I remember (you guys rock!) - but the expectations from the facility of the therapists was too much to bear. I started waking up at 3 every morning with at least 20 texts about the clients, I faced a lot of bullying from coworkers, the paperwork was unreal and overall was simply overworked in a chaotic and somewhat abusive system. 

I should also say, that before I went to the detention center, I worked at a partial hospitalization program for a single week and what I learned in that week rang true through every mental health place I went to: youth felt invalidated, belittled, not seen and not understood. Clients are often told to not actually process what they are going through in group settings as to not trigger any one but also that is so limiting to the connection and growth that can happen (and does happen) in groups with appropriate boundaries that allow clients to be themselves.  

I write this on June 11th, the 11th of pride month, after I completed my first virtual support group for adolescent clients in the LGBTQIA+ community. As most first sessions go, this one was somewhat light so clients can get to know each other and build rapport. When I asked what stresses they are facing, they noted what a client had noted earlier in the week: there is so much support lacking in the mental health field. Although they may not voice this next part, it is something I have witnessed. Our systems, our current way of thinking about mental illness, are not working. 

Youth are currently being exposed to more than any other generation has. When I first became a therapist, I would not shy away from asking how old they were when they first saw porn…which often surprises the clients due to me simply being up front and getting curious. However, as I have continued to work with youth, I have added a follow up question each time: what age were you when you were exposed to gore? 

Many caregivers are aware of the dangers online - predators, scam artists, porn, and so forth but one thing that we are not addressing is the trauma that youth and kids are exposed to online. Not only are they exposed to abusive relationships and friendships, but there are many online communities and resources that have left countless youth traumatized. 

On top of all of that, youth still experience what they always have: bullying, dating violence, sexual violence and family violence. With social media, many times people can feel as if they have an escape from such traumas, yet in reality, it only enhances many of them and leaves our youth feeling more disconnected and hurt than ever. 

Our world is an interesting place in 2025. We have experienced a global pandemic (which as a therapist of teens, I guarantee you that pandemic affected the youth you know and love in many ways), so much hate being spewed, and every one desperately trying to find their own place to just…be. 

Now let’s move into what I have noticed from caregivers, and what I have learned as a caregiver for an adolescent that attempted to no longer exist in this world. 

It is so hard. 

It is so hard to handle all the things we need like bills, groceries and what not but to add the struggle of someone else’s mental health can be incredibly overwhelming. It is so easy to feel lost, exhausted, disconnected, unsure of what to do; and with the lack of resources for caregivers, it can feel so lonely. 

At the residential center I worked at, we were required to have 1 family session a week with all client’s families. Some sessions were a beautiful thing to be a part of and some left me feeling so incredibly sad for some youth. But what I have learned the most: no matter how much struggling youth push adults away, it is always the adults who push back and say, “No, I’m here to support you. What do you need?” that ultimately prevent relapses, suicide attempts and more. 

“I just wish when my mom asked me what was wrong and I say nothing, that she wouldn’t walk away. That she would ask more questions. I would be annoyed but I would tell her” one client said. But honestly, even if I have not heard those words a million times, I have seen that look in hundreds of eyes: a desperate plea begging for support but often covered with aggression, avoidance or irritability. 

During family sessions, when I would attempt to advocate for such support, some families would meet me with something related to, “But I do that and they won’t engage with me!” which can often lead to more disconnection and frustration. Yet, and I witnessed this with my own daughter who is in a much better space, they need to know that their caregivers will not give up on them. That they want to get curious about their teen’s life and that they want to be there. 

We, as adults, may not fully understand the culture that our kids live in as it is drastically different then the culture we grew up in; but we need to get curious. We need to openly talk about hard things because in reality, our students, our kids, are already witnessing and experiencing what we are often afraid to bring to light.